


I'm Not Having Sex With You

by steveandbucky



Series: in any version of reality [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Blind Date, Double Date, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, Hooking up, Implied Sexual Content, Love/Hate, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Neighbors, Neighbours, Post-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 19:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2321381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandbucky/pseuds/steveandbucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve agreed to finally let Natasha set him up on a date, he didn't expect that she'd choose to set him up with Bucky Barnes, his annoying neighbour, but the night ends on a surprising note.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Having Sex With You

**Author's Note:**

> excuse any mistakes, it's just a quick drabble <3

 

Steve is going to kill them both. He doesn’t know how, maybe he’ll wait until they’re asleep first, but he’s totally going to kill them both. He grits his teeth as Nat and Clint laugh at yet another of Bucky’s jokes, and tries to convince himself that the guy isn’t actually as funny as he thinks.

See, when he finally agreed to let Natasha set him up on a date, he didn’t imagine that the person she’d choose would be Bucky Barnes, who also happens to be the most annoying neighbour he has. If it had been just them on the date, Steve would have just turned around and walked out of the restaurant, but it looks like Natasha had predicted that would happen, and hence arranged for it to be a double date with her and Clint.

He finally manages to get a moment alone with Clint at the end of the meal, and grabs him by the arm, leading him out of the restaurant.

“You have to get me out of this,” Steve says in a desperate tone of voice.

Clint looks at him with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”

“Clint, for the love of God, I cannot stand the guy. Did you not see us in there? I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me! I don’t understand what Natasha was thinking setting us up!”

“Okay,” Clint looks around with a thoughtful expression, but his eyes light up suddenly. “Look, Nat’s booked us for a magic show next! Come on, it’ll be fun, yeah?”

Steve buries his face in his hands. There’s no getting out of it, it seems, but the rest of the evening turns out to suck slightly less. _Slightly._

The magic show is a lot better than Steve expects, and at some point he realizes that he’s actually having fun, and even laughing at Bucky’s jokes and comments. Even worse, he realizes that Bucky looks like he’s been having fun and not caring about the fact that he’s on a date with a guy he’s supposed to hate. The thought shakes him up a bit.

“Hey, um,” Steve leans close to Bucky so he’s heard over the noise. “Are you… are you having fun?” he asks, nervous about the response he might get.

“Yeah!” Bucky grins at him. “But just to be clear, I’m not having fun with you. I’m just having fun, and you happen to be around.” He says with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

Steve looks at him with a flabbergasted expression on his face.

The show ends with a music number, and with the exception of Bucky’s smartass comment, Steve thinks that he’s actually had a fun night. Then he discovers that the next part of Natasha’s date plan consists of a romantic stroll along the nearby river, and he decides he’s had enough. He makes up an excuse about having to get up early, but turns out that Nat is not letting him off that easy.

So two of them end up walking side by side in an awkward silence, while Clint and Nat walk ahead of them, wrapped up in each other and completely ignoring them both.

“Do you just want to call it a night? I doubt they’ll notice if we take off.” Steve says with a shrug.

Bucky looks at him for a long moment. “Hey, uh… you’re not… um. I was just joking, earlier…” he trails off. He takes notice of Steve’s confusion and shrugs as he changes the subject. “Yeah, let’s do that. Do you wanna share a cab?”

“Sounds good.”

When they arrive to their apartment building, Steve’s phone beeps, indicating the arrival of a new message. He opens it to see that it’s from Nat – a message wishing him good luck, and advising him to use protection. Steve rolls his eyes but unexpectedly he hears Bucky chuckle next to him.

“Sorry, I sneaked a glance.”

Steve blushes. “Yeah, um, I don’t know what she was thinking with this…”

Bucky shrugs, still grinning at Steve. “I think it was a great idea.”

“Yeah, right…”

“Why do you think I agreed to it?” he asks, and Steve’s eyes widen.

“I thought… it was a blind date…” Steve stutters. “She didn’t tell me it was with you.”

“Oh.” Bucky frowns. “So you don’t want to sleep with me?”

Steve sputters out nonsensical sounds in response, and it makes Bucky laugh. A part of him doesn’t believe he heard right, and the other, even less sensible part of him actually thinks about the suggestion.

Bucky steps closer to him, and Steve steps backwards until he’s standing with his back against his apartment door. “You haven’t ever thought of it before?”

 _Once,_ Steve thinks in his head, and he swallows hard, not daring to actually admit it out loud. It hadn’t been an intentional thought, exactly, just something his mind came up with _one time_ , before he’d actually got to know the guy better and realize what a jerk he was.

Bucky is still staring him in the eye, and Steve doesn’t dare break eye contact – the look Bucky is giving him stirs something inside him – in an upward direction, to be specific.

“I’m…um…” Steve doesn’t manage to finish his thought because Bucky cuts him off by leaning closer and crashing his lips on Steve’s. It only takes a minute for Steve to react, and suddenly they’re stumbling into his apartment, hurriedly undressing each other while still making out like there’s no tomorrow.

Bucky pushes him on the couch and climbs over him, but Steve puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. He takes a moment to catch his breath before he speaks. “Just to be clear,” he says as a smirk curls the corners of his lips. “I’m not having sex with you. I’m just having sex… and you happen to be around.”

Bucky laughs out loud. “Okay,” he says as he kisses Steve again. “This date was definitely a great idea.”

 


End file.
